Dealing with Family Stressors

We learned about a model last week called the  ABCX Model.
   A-Actual event
   B-Behavioral response
+ C-Cognitive response
   X  -eXperience
This is a process of how we can influence the out comes in our lives. Just because a trial or change of events takes place in our lives does not mean we have to end up a certain way. We can each consciously decide how we will respond and make the best out of a tough situation. I believe we are each given different trials and obstacles to over come in order to become the person we are supposed to be. I think that it's awesome that we have the power and control to turn the results into something positive or negative, and I hope we can all remember this power we have been given.

Intimacy

Contrary to natural belief the most important sex organ is actually the brain. I didn't realize this until we went over the different chemicals released during intercourse such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxycontin. There are also some significant differences for men and women, for example women need to feel safe in order to be sexual and in order for men to feel close and safe the opposite is true. Sex is most definitely not the most important thing in a marriage, but it is usually a good barometer for how the rest of the relationship is going. When it comes to teaching your children about intimacy it's important to not shut down the minuted they have a question. Also don't wait for someone else to teach your child, make a decision with your spouse and decide what you want your children to know and when. Remember to tell the truth and don't let embarrassment stop you. Teach your child, don't just focus on the physical, let them know that it is a sacred thing only between husband and wife.

Marriage and children

There are some who believe that as soon as a couple begins having children that marriage satisfaction will inevitably decrease and that's it, it can't be helped. However by no means does this have to be the case. If you stop nurturing your marriage relationship and only focus on the baby of course things wont be as good in your marriage! Knowing that a decrease in marital satisfaction is the natural thing to happen when a new person enters your family there are things that you can do to prevent that. Starting with the pregnancy keep the husband involved and informed, including doctor visits and movement in the womb. Make the birth experience one that is a personal time for the husband and wife and no one else. Share the different experiences that come with a new born. Take turns getting up at night when the baby cries and take turns with the various responsibilities, it will help you both feel involved and important in your child's life. Now that you both feel involved with your child take time for each other. Plan dates with each other and make a special effort to spend some quality time together.